A Few Simple Steps To Help Manage Anxiety During Perimenopause and Menopause

I Feel Anxious!

The majority of us have experienced anxiety, it can be triggered by all sorts of things. Worried about finances, your health or someone else’s, conflict, public speaking, covid, some medications or even caffeine can also trigger anxiety.

For myself, I use to struggle with very bad anxiety. In 2012 I moved from the UK to Qatar and I was worried about a lot of things but driving on the other side of the road set me off. The issue was I already had IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and this fear triggered my condition to another level because I was afraid of being in a traffic jam and not being able to get to the bathroom in time. The anxiety became steadily over a period of time out of control, to the point where I was starting to become afraid of going out.

I became very aware that my negative thoughts were making the situation much worse than the condition itself. I was waking up in the morning and straight away I would be worried about the drive, worrying about whether I would be stuck in traffic. I had a knot in my stomach before I even left my home. I was building it up in my mind and my body was already reacting to my thinking.

Important to know that our mind does not know the difference between what is really happening or a fictitious story

To cut a very long story short I was desperate to take back control and I started by changing my mental commentary. Instead of being in panic mode, and saying negative things I began by changing my voice tone, speaking calmly to myself — saying things like you’ve got this, everything is going to be ok. I learnt some breathing techniques and focused on my breath. After about 4 months I could see the difference in how I felt and I wasn’t afraid to go out. What I found out subsequently is I had rewired my brain, I had forged a new neural pathway.

Why Am I Sharing This?

I am sharing with you to help you to see that you may have anxiety but why? Are you overthinking? Are you worried about paying the bills? Your job? Are you living too much in the future? Are you worried about your children, your parents or yourself? Are you playing out scenarios in your head? Are you worrying too much about your menopause symptoms? Or, is it a chemical imbalance that is not within your control?

This is important because this is one of the biggest areas to be missed and yet it’s the most important for everyone, particularly if you’re suffering from anxiety before or during menopause is to become aware of your thoughts. The truth is this will also help you to manage all the other areas of your life. How you respond to life is where you have control, as pretty much everything else you do not have control over!

Take Action

We have approx 50–70K thoughts a day and about 95% of them are the same as yesterday, as our thoughts are habitual it’s important to know what you’re thinking because this will be affecting your feelings, behaviours and ultimately the quality of your life.

To help I would highly recommend jotting down any thoughts the next time you feel anxious or stressed.

Become aware of this feeling and ask yourself — What am I thinking? How am I feeling?

Were you worrying, thinking about the future, or upset about the past, were you moaning about someone, or rushing around too much?

All this will give you information and then you can see if there are any patterns to what you are feeling and thinking.

With time you will get to see if your negative thoughts are contributing to your anxious feelings.

If you’re not sure be open to the possibility and become curious.

This is not to say this is the case because chemical imbalances could be at play here and maybe something you cannot control, in which case visit your doctor for advice.

However, we are wired for negativity so it’s not unusual to be thinking this way, even I would go far as to say that the majority of people think like this if they’re not self-aware.

The beauty of becoming self-aware is you then have a choice, you can choose to do something different or continue as you are.

What’s Next?

Let’s stay you find out you are too busy, rushing around too much on and it is contributing to feeling anxious and stressed. Then you have choices. Ok, what could I do differently? Plan my day better, become more organised, ask for help, delegate to others? Could I slow down and not do all the tasks? If you cook, can I find a quick meal option today? This is where you have choice and control.

Or let’s say you find out that you’re worrying too much about your menopause symptoms. You could ask yourself; Is all this worrying helping? Is there something else I could do? Am I worrying unnecessarily? What step could I take right now to help?

The truth is no matter how much we worry this is never going to change a thing. All worrying does is create even stress and anxiety, and affect your health and well-being. Instead, be concerned and take action if required.

Important at this time to be non-judgmental, with lots of self-care, compassion and kindness towards yourself. Not something which comes naturally to many women but an area that is worth investing your time and energy in.

The information here is a guide, please seek medical professional advice if you need further help or support.